#9: I hath been iambic on that arse, ye bastard...

It's been a while, eh?

Today's my second unofficial holiday of the year. Frankly, I'm rather disgusted with myself. There would have been football, basketball, volleyball, minding obnoxious little brats and imposing prefect power on them, cutting spinach for Bio practicals, et al, but, if I am to retain the hope of passing this year, I may need a few more of these holidays.
After creating, editing, and finally deleting a Google+ profile, here I sit, in lack of want for social media.

Anyway, what I found to be unusually inspiring is nicepeter's youtube phenomenon- Epic Rap Battles of History. No doubt, you've seen a few, and yes, I did watch Darth vs. Hitler and a few others a long, long time ago, but, for me, nothing can beat Dr. Seuss vs. Shakespeare. I dunno, maybe it's the bard's obnoxious grandiose and his insanely impressive verbosity, or maybe it's because he's so much a part of our school lives that we would back him under any fire from CBSE or PUC blockheads who have the linguistic capability of a small rock... Anyway, I would like to share some of his rapping prowess here. Please note, the lines below become far more impressive when read in a badass, prissy Brit. accent at three words a second:

"Come bite my thumb!
I hope you know the stakes
I’ll put a slug between your shoulder blades
Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that arse, ye bastard
My rhymes are classic
Your crap is drafted by a kindergartner high on acid.

Ye hoebag
You’re an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag and no gonads
Egads it’s so sad
And to top it off
You’re not a doctor
I’ve never seen a softer author
You crook, you
I bet you wrote The Twilight books too

I’m switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces, each is such a wonder with a plethora of features you’re pathetically predictable, you think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures the Bard is in the building, it’s a castle, I’m a boss. I bet I’m Parliament. I’m positive, I’m killing it, I’m iller than the plague, I never caught or cholera a baller baller on some cricket bowler business while you’re sitting in the bleachers."

I also found out the story behind Halloween, but I'll save that for another time.